Stan goes to Newfoundland to inspect his loyal subjects, but they spit in has face because he is a duplicate of "Brud", the village shyster. Brud figures this out pretty quickly, and takes on the role of Stanley, meeting Bunny, who had been sent there to seduce Stan. Bunny cradles his rock, but Brud leaves for Lexx anyway, taking all her money. He attempts to seduce Xev using a bad rendition of Greensleeves on his portable keyboard. 790 pushes him off the command deck. Meanwhile Stan is lynched, and Kai plays the tavern pianoman, with endless variations of "Yo Way Yo". Priest nukes Newfoundland.
Goaded by the first lady, Priest does a deal with Stan to kill Prince, but ends up wiping out Orlando, Florida. In a plan to "save the presidency", he blames Cuba, but Prince isn't convinced, so organises a trip down Dealy Plaza to drill home the importance of loyalty, having the first lady sniped. Geneveive G Rota is elected pope, randomly from a real estate guide. A cat becomes possessed by a carrot.
Kai needs to go to Transylvania to explore his curiosity. In the tavern, they bump into bats, superstitious villagers, Van Helsing, and 3 goth girls. They are invited to the castle for the Walpurgis feast, which is hosted by a British actor playing Dracuuul. Stan has "dead thing pie". Kai is trapped in a spiked coffin by Grenfield, the owner. The goth girls do various things to Xev and Stan, and then stamp on Dracul's plastic teeth. Stan incites a riot back at the tavern. The castle is stormed, and Dracul is killed (ex contract). The goths wake Vlad with a sample of protoblood.
The carrot probes invade US supermarkets, and leading scientists anal-yse how the carrots penetrate their hosts. The Whitehouse is overcome, so Prince, Priest, and Bunny flee to the Lexx, accidentally taking a carrot with them. 790 sides with the carrot to eliminate everyone but Kai. Prince teaches him Chess, and offers a wager. Kai demonstrates his increasing cynicism about 790 and works out what is going on.
A grippingly executed chess game derived from The Seventh Seal. With the experience of a partially played chess game against Prince in "Bad Carrot", Kai plays for his soul, against the lives of Stan and Xev. He is confident of winning and enters the game willingly, much to Stan and Xev's objection. He plays a game of deception, and bets he can make Prince overconfident. The chess characters are all from Lexx episodes. The icy landscape scenery changes with the mood. Kai wins, but gains nothing.
The crew buy a house at Prime Ridge, using autoteller funds that 790 rigs. Xev's cooking is atrocious, and after a day, they get bored. Kai doesn't like his new fridge. Xev gets a job at CJD Meat Products as a counsellor, to get sex; meeting Cleesby. Stan reckons he's got a chance to get it on with the realtor and her stunning daughter, Picolina. Kai gives drug heads all the money, and they steal the moth. Everyone is a gun wielding psycho, and the episode ends with S.W.A.T ruining the lawn, and a shootout. Cleesby is so impressed by Picolina's ready acceptance of death, that he doesn't execute her.
Lexx is convulsing with starvation, and the crew decide to abandon him, leaving 790 behind as punishment for his latest treachery. They plan to hitch a ride with the Earth ship Noah, that 790 designed. Tina discovers that Ernst Longbore has his own secret plans about who is going onto his ship, and is sniffing the histocompatibily of schoolgirls. Prince re-boards the Lexx. Priest and Bunny shoot nearly every moth breeder to get the key, and then command Lexx to destroy Earth. Lexx only has enough charge to destroy Ottawa, so he eats Holland instead. Xev gets the key from Bunny - the girly way.
After escaping from the clutches of the asylum, the crew meet Uther, who gives them a lift to the space shuttle. Back on Lexx, Uther works his magic on Xev, only to be interrupted by Vlad coming out of the cryo unit. Uther is converted to a slave, and Xev is executed. Vlad procedes to suck the life out of Kai, and then Stan gets up the courage to kill Vlad using the druid's staff. Stan then patches up Xev's body the best he can.
Out near the orbit of Jupiter, the crew encounter a Russian space pod full of students, who's only agenda is to get onto the Lexx and commandeer it. Except Haley. Haley, with the trust fund, has been conned and used by the rest of them, and thinks she is on a mission against "the corporations". One of the girls has the hots for Kai, so 790 sees his chance to eliminate everybody by manipulating Haley. He guides her to a Black Pack weapon, and drives her into a killing spree - because it feels good.
Prince heads towards Lexx in a shuttle. Kai and Xev head to Earth in a moth, which is attacked by stealth missiles. The battle is monitored by a SETI team headed by Dr Longbore, who embraces Kai, and details him on the Earth's imminent demise due to Higgs Boson research. Stan has to deal with Prince on the Lexx, and the machinations of 790. Xev encounters a romantic Texan boy who wants to marry her before he can have sex, but all his friends want a crack, too, so he has to kill them all. Xev gets arrested for murder.
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