The satirical weekly newspaper The Onion takes aim at cable news with ridiculously funny, made up news stories on The Onion News Network. The presentation is so spot-on that it’s hard to believe it’s not news.
02:19
East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women
Amivi Gama's violent rise to power has proved that women are just as capable as men when it comes to brutality and oppression.
02:06
FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful
Made by Pfizer, Despondex is the first drug designed to treat the symptoms of excessive perkiness.
02:28
Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?
Our panelists debate whether TV programs like 'A Double Shot At Love' and 'The Bad Girls Club' depict unattainable levels of skankiness.
02:24
Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team
The Giants Coach said he valued the years he spent with his family, but wants to focus on more important things now.
03:06
How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine
Author Jerry Bloom visits Today Now to explain how you can make your kitchen floor shine without falling and paralyzing yourself for life.
From Onion News Network International: North Korea's space program will capture the moon and bring it home, a feat no Western nation could accomplish.
02:40
Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings
Teachers may have overlooked a number of red flags, including Bobby Knowles' turbulent home life, violent writing, and previous school shootings.
03:29
Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size
In Beyond The Facts, we examine how Bratz are convincing a generation of girls that to be hip and beautiful they have to have gigantic heads.
02:32
Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony
Rep. Cummings (D-VA) wants to mark Obama's historic inauguration with an intricately choreographed dance piece of his own creation.
02:33
Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline In Gas Explosion
Community members who didn't burn to death are struggling to accept the devastating loss of so much premium fuel.
02:47
Man Who Crossed Nation In Balloon Only Wants To Talk About Horse Abuse
Today Now! welcomes adventurer and balloonist Trent Montague, who is determined to steer the conversation to the horrors of horse abuse.
02:46
Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.
02:17
Media Watchdog Accuses Weather Channel Of Pro-Weather Bias
Critic claims The Weather Channel shamelessly overreports stories on hurricanes and weekend forecasts at the expense of other news.
01:54
Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle
Across the country, aunts and stepdads are braving crowds to get their hands on the perfect gift for the relatives they barely know.
02:47
President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule
The press secretary tells reporters that before the president can defeat the monster, he'll have to defeat his greatest enemy of all: his own doubts.
02:16
In The Know: How Can We Make The Iraq War More Handicap Accessible?
Panelists praise the Army's commitment to getting gravely wounded troops back on the battlefield with innovations like armor-clad wheelchairs.
03:31
NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts for Rigors of an Interview with Larry King
NASA instructors offer a firsthand look at the training astronauts endure before they can physically and mentally withstand an appearance on Larry King Live.
03:06
USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing
A deputy assistant at the Department of Agriculture speaks truth to power, condemning proposed changes in Idaho's potato output pricing structure.
01:43
In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume
The pardon assures that Libby will not face any more repercussions for his role in the Valerie Plame case or be eaten on Thanksgiving.
02:41
China's Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is
The curmudgeonly Poyuan Wei thinks the only thing wrong with the Chinese Government is that they are not tough enough on dissidents.
Comments