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Onion News Network

The satirical weekly newspaper The Onion takes aim at cable news with ridiculously funny, made up news stories on The Onion News Network. The presentation is so spot-on that it’s hard to believe it’s not news.

updated:: 2 wks ago
videos:: 154

category:: Comedy

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Clips (154)

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01:40 White House Announces 'Everything Is Great In Iraf'

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Panelists discuss why the media and public are not paying more attention to the overwhelming success of the U.S.'s invasion of Iraf.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,460

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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02:54 9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says

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An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,127

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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00:56 Liechtenstein Successfully Tests Teeny Tiny Nuclear Bomb

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In violation of non-proliferation agreements, the little nation has developed an itsy bitsy arsenal of destruction.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,062

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:22 Army Holds Annual 'Bring Your Daughter To War' Day

category:
Web Series
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Girls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,054

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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02:25 Candidates Compete For Vital Idgit Vote

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Panelists discuss the "idgit," or idiot, voter -- the unpredictable, uniformed demographic that invariably decides elections.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,052

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:29 Should Americans Return To A Simpler, Stone Age Lifestyle?

category:
Web Series
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Panelists reminisce about how much better things used to be 10,000 years ago.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,044

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

{ "videoCategories":"category_webseries", "videoCategoryIds":"135", "collectionPermalink":"onion-Onion-News-Network", "publisher":"The Onion", "videoId":"v6471270mjAxBamJ", "primaryKey":"6471270", "title":"Should Americans Return To A Simpler, Stone Age Lifestyle?", "isExternalMedia":"1", "allowAds" : true, "isABC" : false, "isHulu" : true, "isYouTubePermalink" : false, "isCNN" : false, "isYouTube" : false, "youtubeId" : "", "isFullLength" : "", "contentSourceId" : "", "allowComments" : true, "latestWebPlayerVersion" : "1.1.2.1036", "webPlayerRequiredGeos" : "VN,ES,FR,SG,PH,PL,IT,GR,MX,NL,KR,AU,SE,IN,NO,BE,HK,DK,FI,PT,IE,IL,PR,TW", "length" : "89", "sessionId" : "116534d30781423c7039908712720497", "userGeo" : "US", "mature" : "false" , "numComments" : 0 ,"pWidth":"520","pHeight":"295","embedCode":"<object hosted=\"false\"classid=\"clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"></param><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/fVZQcUSWEpkFmO93zvtJpw\"></param><embed hosted=\"false\"allowscriptaccess=\"never\" wmode=\"opaque\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" src=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/fVZQcUSWEpkFmO93zvtJpw\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"></embed></object>" }
01:39 Do You Remember Life Before The Segway?

category:
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More like this...

Panelists discuss how the Segway personal transporter has revolutionized American life.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,039

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

{ "videoCategories":"category_webseries", "videoCategoryIds":"135", "collectionPermalink":"onion-Onion-News-Network", "publisher":"The Onion", "videoId":"v6471263XweQfcea", "primaryKey":"6471263", "title":"Do You Remember Life Before The Segway?", "isExternalMedia":"1", "allowAds" : true, "isABC" : false, "isHulu" : true, "isYouTubePermalink" : false, "isCNN" : false, "isYouTube" : false, "youtubeId" : "", "isFullLength" : "", "contentSourceId" : "", "allowComments" : true, "latestWebPlayerVersion" : "1.1.2.1036", "webPlayerRequiredGeos" : "VN,ES,FR,SG,PH,PL,IT,GR,MX,NL,KR,AU,SE,IN,NO,BE,HK,DK,FI,PT,IE,IL,PR,TW", "length" : "99", "sessionId" : "d8bdb335a257cf5a4f4b462ec2bf7ac9", "userGeo" : "US", "mature" : "false" , "numComments" : 0 ,"pWidth":"520","pHeight":"295","embedCode":"<object hosted=\"false\"classid=\"clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"></param><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/BVhrKXbn8gIQ9C4BrKlr3Q\"></param><embed hosted=\"false\"allowscriptaccess=\"never\" wmode=\"opaque\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" src=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/BVhrKXbn8gIQ9C4BrKlr3Q\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"></embed></object>" }
01:37 The U.S. Moat

category:
Web Series
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Panelists discuss the need to protect America's borders with a moat.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,034

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:11 Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital

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Web Series
More like this...

Hospital officials hope to locate the good Samaritan that dropped off a sack of human organs in the middle of the night so they can thank him.

by:
The Onion

views:
1,024

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

{ "videoCategories":"category_webseries", "videoCategoryIds":"135", "collectionPermalink":"onion-Onion-News-Network", "publisher":"The Onion", "videoId":"v6471260fqZMZkXc", "primaryKey":"6471260", "title":"Anonymous Philanthropist Donates 200 Human Kidneys To Hospital", "isExternalMedia":"1", "allowAds" : true, "isABC" : false, "isHulu" : true, "isYouTubePermalink" : false, "isCNN" : false, "isYouTube" : false, "youtubeId" : "", "isFullLength" : "", "contentSourceId" : "", "allowComments" : true, "latestWebPlayerVersion" : "1.1.2.1036", "webPlayerRequiredGeos" : "VN,ES,FR,SG,PH,PL,IT,GR,MX,NL,KR,AU,SE,IN,NO,BE,HK,DK,FI,PT,IE,IL,PR,TW", "length" : "71", "sessionId" : "6d50f013d1c3dd0a0a4adb17767f99cf", "userGeo" : "US", "mature" : "false" , "numComments" : 0 ,"pWidth":"520","pHeight":"295","embedCode":"<object hosted=\"false\"classid=\"clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"></param><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/0zevjVzJQyhy0uc8FL8vMQ\"></param><embed hosted=\"false\"allowscriptaccess=\"never\" wmode=\"opaque\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" src=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/0zevjVzJQyhy0uc8FL8vMQ\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"></embed></object>" }
02:39 Delicious Snacks

category:
Web Series
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A congressional committee discussing Iraq War casualty levels approves of the tasty chips and salsa Rep. Sinclair (R-OH) brought to the hearing.

by:
The Onion

views:
999

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

{ "videoCategories":"category_webseries", "videoCategoryIds":"135", "collectionPermalink":"onion-Onion-News-Network", "publisher":"The Onion", "videoId":"v6471861s9Ew5MKc", "primaryKey":"6471861", "title":"Delicious Snacks", "isExternalMedia":"1", "allowAds" : true, "isABC" : false, "isHulu" : true, "isYouTubePermalink" : false, "isCNN" : false, "isYouTube" : false, "youtubeId" : "", "isFullLength" : "", "contentSourceId" : "", "allowComments" : true, "latestWebPlayerVersion" : "1.1.2.1036", "webPlayerRequiredGeos" : "VN,ES,FR,SG,PH,PL,IT,GR,MX,NL,KR,AU,SE,IN,NO,BE,HK,DK,FI,PT,IE,IL,PR,TW", "length" : "159", "sessionId" : "aeac6e642f686f32836838f6b0834b78", "userGeo" : "US", "mature" : "false" , "numComments" : 1 ,"pWidth":"520","pHeight":"295","embedCode":"<object hosted=\"false\"classid=\"clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"><param name=\"allowFullScreen\" value=\"true\"></param><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/iG7k89YbuJlvRhlTSeD0Ug\"></param><embed hosted=\"false\"allowscriptaccess=\"never\" wmode=\"opaque\" allowfullscreen=\"true\" src=\"http://www.hulu.com/embed/iG7k89YbuJlvRhlTSeD0Ug\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"100%\" pwidth=\"520\" height=\"100%\" pheight=\"295\"></embed></object>" }
01:15 Gap Unveils New 'For Kids By Kids' Clothing Line

category:
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The Onion News Network's Brian Scott reports on a popular new Gap clothing line hand-sewn by children overseas.

by:
The Onion

views:
993

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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02:30 White House Press Secretary Spins Wife's Tragic Death As A Positive

category:
Web Series
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Press Secretary Ted Barrett deflects questions about the gruesome car wreck that killed his wife, instead focusing on the President's agenda.

by:
The Onion

views:
991

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:53 Time Magazine Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans

category:
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Time Magazine's eagerly anticipated annual list of the 299 million least influential Americans hits newsstands this week.

by:
The Onion

views:
989

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:50 Live From Congress: Rep. Ingersoll's Murder of a Hobo

category:
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Congressman Robert Ingersol (R-SC) reads detailed report in the House of Representatives on his recent killing of a hobo.

by:
The Onion

views:
975

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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02:04 U.S. Department of Lost and Found: Umbrellas and Sweaters

category:
Web Series
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Have you lost something? The U.S. Department of Lost and Found helps Americans find their misplaced possessions.

by:
The Onion

views:
973

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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02:35 Breaking News: Series Of Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot

category:
Web Series
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Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area.

by:
The Onion

views:
964

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:12 A Friend's Cancer: Good For Your Health?

category:
Web Series
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A new study finds that having sick friends may improve your physique.

by:
The Onion

views:
960

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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02:51 Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

category:
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Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election.

by:
The Onion

views:
957

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:07 U.S. Department Of Lost And Found: We Found Your Flip Flop

category:
Web Series
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If you've lost something, the U.S. Dept. of Lost and Found can help you find it. This week's featured items: a flip flop and a book.

by:
The Onion

views:
953

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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01:51 NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team

category:
Web Series
More like this...

The Miami Dolphins have drafted NHL star Alexander Ovechkin, making his dream to play professional sports a reality.

by:
The Onion

views:
952

added:
12 mos ago

language:
en

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