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Onion News Network

Onion News Network

The satirical weekly newspaper The Onion takes aim at cable news with ridiculously funny, made up news stories on The Onion News Network. The presentation is so spot-on that it’s hard to believe it’s not news.

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  • Clips (154)

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  • Panelists discuss why the media and public are not paying more attention to the overwhelming success of the U.S.'s invasion of Iraf.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,460
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,127
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • In violation of non-proliferation agreements, the little nation has developed an itsy bitsy arsenal of destruction.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,062
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Girls between the ages of 8 and 14 spent the day helping their parents fight insurgents and defuse mines.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,054
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Panelists discuss the "idgit," or idiot, voter -- the unpredictable, uniformed demographic that invariably decides elections.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,052
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Panelists reminisce about how much better things used to be 10,000 years ago.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,044
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Panelists discuss how the Segway personal transporter has revolutionized American life.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,039
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Panelists discuss the need to protect America's borders with a moat.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,034
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Hospital officials hope to locate the good Samaritan that dropped off a sack of human organs in the middle of the night so they can thank him.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    1,024
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • A congressional committee discussing Iraq War casualty levels approves of the tasty chips and salsa Rep. Sinclair (R-OH) brought to the hearing.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    999
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • The Onion News Network's Brian Scott reports on a popular new Gap clothing line hand-sewn by children overseas.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    993
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Press Secretary Ted Barrett deflects questions about the gruesome car wreck that killed his wife, instead focusing on the President's agenda.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    991
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Time Magazine's eagerly anticipated annual list of the 299 million least influential Americans hits newsstands this week.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    989
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Congressman Robert Ingersol (R-SC) reads detailed report in the House of Representatives on his recent killing of a hobo.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    975
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Have you lost something? The U.S. Department of Lost and Found helps Americans find their misplaced possessions.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    973
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly green objects located in the blue area.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    964
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • A new study finds that having sick friends may improve your physique.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    960
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    957
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • If you've lost something, the U.S. Dept. of Lost and Found can help you find it. This week's featured items: a flip flop and a book.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    953
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
  • The Miami Dolphins have drafted NHL star Alexander Ovechkin, making his dream to play professional sports a reality.


    by:
    The Onion
    views:
    952
    added:
    12 mos ago
    language:
    en
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